Based on hearsay, rumour and speculation, these are the notes of the meeting between Alumno and Colchester Council to review objections to the St Botolph's plan.

Present were cabinet member (CM), Alumno (AL) and junior council Officer (JO)

JO: There are a lot of comments about design and mass.

AL: They aren’t experts. There are always nimbys and nit-pickers.

CM: The usual backward looking busybodies.

JO: Some are from people and professionals who seem to know what they are talking about.

AL: Stick to visionary words like "vibrant" and avoid detail.

JO: Local Plan?

CM: Covered in the small print.

JO: Firstsite is hidden.

CM: Doesn’t matter, no-one goes there anyway.

JO: The piling could damage historic remains.

CM: Nobody has worried about it for 2,000 years so why should we now?

JO: The school has raised safeguarding issues.

AL: Don’t comment.

JO: Lot of queries about traffic and pollution.

AL: Refer the committee to the predictions prepared by our highly esteemed consultants.

CM: Knowledge of the area and understanding human behaviour isn’t relevant.

JO: Parking headaches?

AL: Priory Street residents can sort them out.

CM: They can use the park and ride.

JO: Servicing congestion?

AL: Exaggerated. Minor detail.

JO: Economic regeneration?

CM: There are more kebab and chip shops wanting to open.

JO: Crime and disorder has been raised.

AL: Not our problem.

JO: The lack of cultural facilities and open space is a recurring theme.

AL: That would mean fewer flats which equals less profit. Not acceptable..

CM: Remind them the park is close by.

JO: The demand for all these student flats is still being raised.

AL/CM: Next question.

JO: We are being asked to look at other ideas.

CM: No. We’ve spent enough time putting this together. We’ll get a hundred daft ideas from the public. This is not about public benefit.

AL: And expense! We understood this would be railroaded through with minimum consultation and fuss.

JO: What if the planning committee is minded to reject it?

CM:. They’ll do as they’re told or we’ll leave it as a wasteland for years.

JO: How big a room should we book for the planning meeting?

CM: A very small one for 30 minutes.

Nick Chilvers
Canwick Grove, Colchester